How much is needed to cover the costs of raising a family?

As participants pointed out the question of how much is needed to raise a family was not a simple one.

It was hard to put a figure on this because ‘how much is enough’ will vary according to circumstances - where a family lives, their financial obligations, how many children they have and the kind of support they get from their wider family.

The level of income required depends on expectations about standard of living. For example, some families ‘want all the modern gadgets’ while others didn’t mind buying second hand - and for some families, expectations were influenced by pressure to ‘keep up’ with others.

‘One parent feeling the pressure to provide a birthday party with all the trimmings to match that of her child’s peers –cost factor the biggest thing. They felt they had to conform.’ (Royal Oak feedback report)

The Dargaville group said that ‘extra tuition for some families would be classed as an essential requirement for the children’s education, but for others this may be a desired ‘want’. Similarly, participants at Mangere East said that although they wanted the best for their families, sometimes this was hard to provide, either because ‘their kids’ wants were larger or more expensive then they could afford’ or what they themselves wanted to provide for their children (e.g. sports, music or art lessons) was too expensive. There was a general sense at all the meetings that, as the Dargaville group said, ‘most people feel that on some level they are struggling, that even a little extra income would assist’.

Three of the groups (Grey Lynn; Mangere East and Dargaville) discussed where their income came from. For example, the Grey Lynn young mothers receive income from a range of sources including full or partial Benefits (DPB, Invalids Benefit, Disability Allowance and Accommodation Supplement); Child Support; Working For Families; partner’s wages and gifts and loans from friends and relations.

"I get the DPB but most of the time I get help from my dad and sometimes I borrow money off my friend.” (20 year old mother with 9 month daughter)

Members of this group were all on very low incomes. Some were ineligible for DPB because they were under 18 and some were ineligible for other types of benefit because they were living in their parents’ home.

“I’m on Invalids Benefit and I only get $100 or something a week which doesn’t really go that far. I have to wait till I’m 18 in August to get full DPB” (17year old mother with 10 month old daughter, Grey Lynn)
‘One of the young mums is 18 and is working full time. Her wages are $512 in the hand. She pays her mum to look after her daughter at home. She is unable to receive Childcare Assistance because her daughter is cared for within the family but she mentioned she wouldn’t be back at work if she had to leave her baby in child care: “It’s just the way we do it in our family”. She is unable to afford a house of her own which also puts pressure on this family of eight living in a two bedroom house with three children under ten’ (Grey Lynn group feedback)

Being so short of money affected how these young women felt about themselves.

‘It was clear that the stress of the cost of living affected their ability to take part in normal family activities and to plan for unexpected living costs as they arose. All mentioned a feeling of being judged as a bad parent because they were on a benefit’. (Grey Lynn group feedback)

In Dargaville, the only rural group, participants are all mothers and from a wide range of circumstances including ‘husband earning $1000 a week’ to ‘two part time jobs for each parent’. This group thought that the system of assistance for families was less user-friendly - or even unavailable – to the self employed, such as farm owners. Participants noted that they received help from in laws and family. ‘Most felt they could pay the bills but achieve little else’. They discussed the possibility of achieving a second income in the future but were aware of barriers in their way, including the cost and time involved in travel to available jobs (up to forty minutes drive) and lack of suitable childcare. This was a significant issue for this group.

‘In our town most felt childcare is inadequate. The options of kindy and daycare tended to have large waiting lists of up to and over a year long. Even home carers were limited as they would be only allowed four children so should their own children be home, then that would reduce the availability. Plus whenever there are school holidays or children are sick other means would need to be found’. (Dargaville group feedback)

All the groups said that making ends meet is not just about money - it is about being linked into a wider family or community that offers support (such as looking after children so a parent can work, or giving advice when life is hard).

For Mangere East participants, churches helped make ends meet in several ways - for example church members cared for children within the family or provided advice on how to make ends meet. Churches are a place of spiritual guidance when having trouble making ends meet. Some said that community agencies were helpful in giving advice on how to make ends meet but sometimes the advice was not culturally appropriate (e.g. asking extended family living with you to leave). It was hard to get helpful information early enough - information only became available when people hit ‘rock bottom’.

This group took part in a brainstorming session and discussed issues that impact on families.

• Families have to work multiple jobs and long hours, often for minimum wages. As the cost of living continues to rise, families will continue to work long hours for little pay. This discussion led participants to ask ‘What might this mean for our kids? Who will look after them if we always have to go to work and they are too old to go to after school care or we can’t afford after school care?
• Some participants use the 20 hours free preschool education now available to working parents but need their children to be in care for longer periods of time so still have fees to pay.
• Working For Families thresholds mean a few financially struggling families don’t qualify.
• There are lots of costs involved in children’s education regardless of whether children are under five or at school level.
• Some participants questioned why they should get off the benefit when the money they get is not much less than if they went to work – ‘plus they get to stay home with their kids’.
• Two participants mentioned having to get higher qualifications in order to get better paying jobs in the future.

The Mangere East group pointed out that cultural expectations affect how families make ends meet. For many, extended families are a natural part of the immediate family and no distinction is made between ‘immediate family’ members and ‘extended family’ members. Rather the notion of ‘we are all one family’ was adopted by participants when discussing ‘family’ informally. Old people are normally cared for within the family home. ‘Although there is not enough income to support ‘immediate family’, yet families make it stretch somehow to cover both immediate family, extended family and sometimes others’.