Even Up: tips and strategies

Getting an even balance between work and family is one of the most difficult issues faced by families. Our discussions with people over the last few years have made it clear that some struggle to give their families the amount of time and attention they would like to.

We asked members of The Couch www.thecouch.org.nz (our online panel for feedback on family life) for their strategies and tips that help them even up their work-life balance.

Planning ahead
Spending time together
Flexible work
Looking after yourself
Supporting the community

Planning ahead

Planning ahead is seen by most parents as the key to balancing their work, family and community responsibilities. Many also prioritise the demands on their time.

Plan the important things first, the others will fit in or they don't matter as much as you think – try not to cram too much into one day, and learn to say no.

A large number of people find a diary or wall/fridge planner that tracks the weeks' commitments extremely useful. For some this includes planning the weekly menu and shopping and working out when and where to spend time with different members of the family, and friends.

"Keep in touch with family by phone, do dusting or other chores at the same time."

"Grocery shopping, if you work in town shop during the lunch hour."

"Cook larger meals and freeze for the busy times."

"Slow cookers are a must for busy households."

"Make bulk batches of muffins and sandwiches and freeze wrapped individually to put together quick lunches (they defrost by lunchtime)."

Some find internet shopping a timesaver, including buying groceries online.

Others find that doing things around the house as a team frees up time for fun together.

"We all do the housework on a Thursday night. It takes less than 45 minutes and we can then all relax at the weekend."

"A job shared is a quick job."

"Have kids help with the household chores – dishes, laundry, housework etc. As a single parent life wouldn't work if the kids didn't do their bit – there just wouldn't be time."

"We do homework in the car with the younger three while waiting at the older daughter's school to pick her up (she finishes 15 minutes later), or take a ball and use those 10 minutes to practise catching with the youngest for her netball."

"If you can afford it, pay someone else to do some of the housework – frees up time for family and stops you stressing out about what hasn't been done.

Limit the amount of activities you have each week so that you are not too busy every day."

"Doing the washing on the Friday evening enables the family to attend sports on the Saturday morning and spend a free afternoon together."

Spending time together

Many people on The Couch make a conscious effort to spend time with their family – whether it's sitting down to eat dinner together, spending Saturday mornings at the park or playing games together.

Some people programme time into each week to allow them to spend one on one time with each child and their partner.

Turning off the TV is also a popular way of gaining family time:

"Cut down on TV time in the evenings in preference to spending time with family, having meal together, talking about the day's events."

"Setting aside a routine evening for a games night (no TV!)."

"Watching TV together or a movie or sport is not quality time. Quality time is being able to share things with another person and provide your total attention."

"We encourage each family member to do one random act of kindness with no returns required at home per day. You never know, that big pile of washing might get folded and you can sit on the couch and read to your kids!"

Others advise abandoning the housework in favour of spending time with the kids.

"The housework will still be there tomorrow."

"Play with your kids for at least 30 minutes throughout day so they get your attention for a while then are happy to go and do their own thing for a while."

"Enjoy your children and that way you will enjoy that part of your life with them."

"Remember why you had them and fit in with their needs not try to make them fit into your life its only for a short while then they fly the nest."

Flexible work

For many parents, having flexible work options is of enormous benefit to their work life balance. Some choose to work part-time so that they're available to pick up children after school; others work in the evening once children are asleep; some start work after school begins for the day. Other parents each work part-time or flexi hours so that they can spend more time with their children.

"Take a job with flexible hours – make sure your employer knows you put family first, be clear you want work life balance."

"Balance work and child collection – between my husband and myself we have arranged with our employers to start early and finish early a couple of days a week so we can pick up our four year old son from crèche."

"I have a job with flexible hours so I set aside two evenings a week for paid work, and I make sure I stick to that."

"Recognise that what's important for one person will be different for someone else – 'one size fits all' strategies don't work, responsive workplaces will be able to create work-life balance solutions that work for the individual and their circumstances."

"Downsize. Focus less on having things and you may find possibilities for part-time work or staying home for one parent."

Looking after yourself

Couch members are well aware that to get the best out of their life, they need to pay attention to their own well-being as well as that of their family.

"Get a good nights sleep – it keeps stress levels down and energy up."

"Take time for yourself. When I'm calm and have time and I'm in balance, sometimes the most amazing discussions and sharing thoughts happen."

"Try not to take work home."

"Ask for help when you need it and return the favour when you can."

"Share childcare with friends to get time with partner."

"I have a babysitting swap with my sister. Once a month we baby-sit for her and her partner then they reciprocate so we get to go out once a month and don't have to pay for a sitter."

"Take a little time out each day for yourself."

Supporting the community

Many families are also active in their communities and are careful to factor this into their work life balance.

"Integrate your leisure and community activities. For example, join the neighbourhood planting group and take the kids, go for a walk on the beach and pickup rubbish, practise drama/music/art and present it at the local rest home."

"Ask your manager to consider letting you have three hours per month work time to do your volunteer work. The company then feels they are contributing to that charity too."

"Limit the number of activities you get involved in."